First coffee, then a limited tolerance for feeling good

How much love and abundance am I willing to allow?
How am I getting in my own way?

I have a limited tolerance for feeling good. When I hit my Upper Limit, I manufacture thoughts that make me feel bad. The problem is bigger than just my internal feelings, though: I seem to have a limited tolerance for my life going well in general. When I hit my Upper Limit, I do something that stops my positive forward trajectory. I get into a conflict with my ex-wife, get into a money bind, or do something else that brings me back down within the bounds of my limited tolerance.

Am I willing to increase the amount of time every day that I feel good inside?
Am I willing to feel good and have my life go well all the time?

Each of us has an inner thermostat setting that determines how much love, success, and creativity we allow ourselves to enjoy. When we exceed our inner thermostat setting, we will often do something to sabotage ourselves, causing us to drop back to the old, familiar zone where we feel secure.

When you attain higher levels of success, you often create personal dramas in your life that cloud your world with unhappiness and prevent you from enjoying your enhanced success.

You make a big financial suge forward, such as a big stock-market win or something else that causes a meaningful financial change. Almost before you’ve had a chance to celebrate, an argument or an illness or some other negative occurrence throws a wet blanket on the good feelings.

You’re feeling close to your love partner. Perhaps you’re sitting together quietly, sipping a glass of your favorite wine. Seemingly out of nowhere, an argument sparks into flame. The close feelings disappear; you’re embroiled in a conflict that stretches into hours or maybe even days.

Four fears and four related false beliefs hold the Upper Limit Problem in place:

Feeling fundamentally flawed: I cannot expand to my full creative genius because something is fundamentally wrong with me.

Disloyalty and abandonment: I cannot expand to my full success because it would cause me to end up all alone, be disloyal to my roots, and leave behind people from my past.

Believing that more success brings a bigger burden: I can’t expand to my highest potential because I’d be an even bigger burden than I am now.

The crime of outshining: I must not expand to my full success, because if I did I would outshine xx and make her/him look or feel bad.

Your Upper Limit Problem lives in the moment-by-moment interactions you have with yourself and the people around you. There is only one way to get this data, and that is to focus your keen awareness on specific aspects of your daily life.

Source: The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks

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True creativity is when you spend your life doing what you most love to do, in a way that inspires others to do what they most love to do.”

– Gay Hendricks

Tool of the week: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level with Gay Hendricks

Episode Highlights: How to recognize the upper-limit problem, and how to correct that. Keys to knowing your true genius and how you express it to make the greatest contribution. Tips to prioritize and commit…for real change to happen. How to face failure, even if you know you are in your genius. Listen here.